Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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