The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize