i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
