we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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