Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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