I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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