I just saw a hot homeless man
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
