On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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