Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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