i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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