yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
