Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
