The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize