I'm jealous of your bromance
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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