We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
