i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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