winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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