We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They took my balls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
