Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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