Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
