I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
