I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
