You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
