do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize