Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
