i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
