im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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