if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
