I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The power of my boobs compel you
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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