i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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