I can text with my tongue
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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