Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
