Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
