She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
