you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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