So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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