Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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