You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
