So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
