I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
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I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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