Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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