My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
