apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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