If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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