My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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