dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
