i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize