ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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