haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
