That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
only if we run a train.
done.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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