i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
