the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
50% drunk capacity currently
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
