You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
