k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
