tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
