I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
