How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
