We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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