Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
