I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
