90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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