He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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