do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This is classic penis vs brain.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
