you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
