Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm coming over.

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  (281): I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay. (713): I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/32wi
  Replies (30) Good night (4114) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (710) Bad night (5896)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did you just see the Batmobile???

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  (248): Did you just see the Batmobile??? http://tfl.nu/vqtz
  Replies (24) Good night (5753) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea

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  (636): Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/qpng
  Replies (57) Good night (702) Bad night (10515)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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  (773): At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer? http://tfl.nu/g4aq
  Replies (34) Good night (1874) Bad night (6051)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7297) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2427) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth

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  (415): i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth http://tfl.nu/t0qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (3597)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

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  (419): Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again http://tfl.nu/9um4
  Replies (17) Good night (869) Bad night (2179)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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  (608): We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth. http://tfl.nu/k58a
  Replies (29) Good night (2249) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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  (406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1
  Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.

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  (512): Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess. http://tfl.nu/vcjk
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.

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  (206): I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it. http://tfl.nu/xy4s
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.

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  (260): We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right. http://tfl.nu/s77j
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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  (415): I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms http://tfl.nu/hvko
  Replies (2) Good night (205) Bad night (405)

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