How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.