I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
