Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(407): View more from Florida

He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.

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(555): View more from

Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.

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(516): View more from New York

i have one question about last night

(646): View more from New York

if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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(727): View more from Florida

I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.

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(707): View more from California

He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type

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