Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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(706): View more from Georgia

dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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(907): View more from Alaska

On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.

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