I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type