scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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