woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize