How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
